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If you can possibly wonder what Paris Hilton, slow service at a restaurant, how early people in the military retire and this one stupid girl standing right there have in common, you clearly are not a Parisian.
For the Parisian knows instinctively that what all these things have in common is that “c’est un scandale”.
Parisians are not dramatic people. Their daily display of measure and reason is seldom breached. Only rare frenetic dispossessions come trouble this calm torpor. Those sporadic episodes are usually fully explainable. Reason – always – even in dispossession.
The Parisian does not deal well with the unfair. No matter how old the Parisian gets, he never seems to come to terms with the idea that unfair is – actually – the norm of life. Mostly because the Parisian struggles with the idea that life differs from his life. His life being governed by reason, it seems illogic to him that life may not be. Illogic though is something the Parisian in his great modesty can deal with. Unfair on the other hand is a different story. Unfair, in the Parisian’s mind, is simply when illogic has become profitable.
More profitable that is. Thanks to his sharp reason sword, the Parisian is mostly on the privileged side of the great social circus. Glimpses at what his reading prism tells him is an illogically profitable situation leave the Parisian in pure torment. Unfair is punching the Parisian from the inside. The Parisian being no fighter, he shall not fight back.. But he shall whine. Grandiloquent whining of course. Politically flavored whining. Obviously always educated and superior whining.
Saying “c’est un scandale” is the Parisian’s systematic response to what seems unfair to him. Flouted order of things shall not remain unpunished. Some would argue this loyal tribute to reason in dealing with an issue diminished reason fostered could seem unreasonable. Not Parisians. Parisians reckon that outside of reason is a world of crooks and idiots. Saying “c’est un scandale” is just an unconscious way for Parisian to assert that this is not their world. No matter what, Parisians are more elegant than dogs.
Younger Parisians find themselves quite witty mockin older people’s alleged tendency to say “c’est un scandale” a lot. Older people’s cultural indignation faced with phenomena it has gotten socially gratifying to simply justify – if not enjoy – is indeed very funny. Not funny on the other end is younger Parisians’habit to genuinely find that the theme of an expo, the quality of a Spring roll, or the price of a movie ticket can be “un scandale”. Those are real scandals. And young Parisians are cultured and strong enough to stand tall against such evolutions.
The Parisian is convinced that saying “c’est un scandale” will immediately lead to solving the situation. As if his vision of fairness was the Deus ex-makina of social interactions. Needless to say this never happens. “C’est un scandale” in his utter inefficiency is an almost aesthetic tribute to the Parisian’s persisting and well bred soul, an outdated hommage to deposed reason. Reason being such a cardinal value in Paris, Parisian men use this line to prove their superior intellectual qualities to their female companions – a very Parisian vision of an alpha male. This line reminds Parisian women of endless Sunday lunches with their father and uncles – they find it annoyingly unsexy.
Instead of keeping a low profile, looking at a situation with humor or trying to be pragmatic about it, the Parisian always prefers to show intelligence and reason. Thinking that intelligence and reason at that point would be to keep a low profile, look at the situation with humor or be pragmatic about it is not a Parisian thing to think. Even when he whines like a little boy bullied by a bigger child, the Parisian sees himself as the epitome of triumphant reason – adulthood in its splendor.
So, really, unless you want to deal with outraged reason – and the crippling sound of S bombs being dropped – do not mess with the Parisian.
Useful tip: Scandale in French does not carry a sexual undertone. So feel free: be generous about your “c’est un scandale”s. .
Sound like a Parisian: «Attends: on a fait entrée, plat, plus une bouteille de vin. A deux, on en aeu pour 95 euros… 95 euros, sérieusement, c’est un scandale… Entrée plat putain!».
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That’s set me up nicely for the weekend. I can vouch for the use of this catch all expression of displeasure and its having been BIGGED up to apply to the least irritation.
and how about “Ce n’est pas vrai!”? I hear that a lot, in a tone of indignation.
Tsk tsk. Say it isn’t so! Well, I’ll be damned…Parisians insist on thinking reason and intelligence should win out? Drat, aside from knowing humor always wins out, I’m more Parisian than I thought.
Peter…Displeasure and irritation are so central that Parisians have managed to create an aesthetics of complaining. Not a very imaginative one but certainly one with a clear hierarchy. Glad you enjoyed the article though. My weekend was made even nicer by a lovely article in the NYT: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/28/fashion/28hiddenparis.html?src=me&ref=homepage. Cool stuff.
Judy… “C’est pas vrai” is indeed a great one. It can mark surprise, frustration or indignation, depending on the tone. Good one for sure!
Ruth… Humor always wins out? You live in… Cali right?!
Olivier
remiends me of another parisianism : c’est trop la honte.
Bad french : trop, and the worst thing ever : la honte…
Nan mais là je me suis retrouvé, j’te jureeee, mais comme un con. L’autre avec son iPhone… J’avais trop la honte…
Stéphan
PS : great for the newspaper
As Olivier explained, the Parisian sayaing “C’est un scandale!” is actually in a position of weakness because of his helplessness to resolve the situation to his/her advantage. Therefore, never, NEVER disagree with him/her in these instances.
You could meet some really surprising aggression, which would be considered as self-defense from the Parisan’s point of view.
Your only answering options at “C’est un scandale !” can be an noncommittal nod,”Putain!” or exposing your own weakness of the selfsame situation of helpless outrage an another instance: “C’est comme moi…”.
Olivier, are you sure English is your second language? Or do you just sit with a thesaurus on your lap? I am doing my PhD in English Lit/Writing, and have a pretty extensive vocabulary…or atleast I thought I did! I have had to pull out the dictionary a few times while reading your posts. Impressive (of you, not me!).
I was about to mention that you were in the NYTimes, but you knew it already. Congrats!
Stéphan… Très vrai!! That being said, they’re good with their trops in the South too!
Merci. Now I just need to put my hands on the actual print version of the article. Then I can retire! 
Ash… I can hear le “c’est comme moi”…
Vlr… Thank you. Well, words are precious little things, aren’t they. If we don’t use them, they get all sickly and end up dying. Look at the genocide America is perpetrating these days… Words resistance is in order.
Noodle75…
You have to fix that RSS button since it DOESN’T work.
I know you have no idea what it means but ask some geek you know or you will lose loads of followers
And then send the link to that RSS subscription through a newsletter or something
“Well, words are precious little things, aren’t they. If we don’t use them, they get all sickly and end up dying. Look at the genocide America is perpetrating these days… Words resistance is in order.” I think I’m going to cry. Even the thought of perfectly petite pretty precious words passing renders me positively pettish and peevish…C’est un scandale! Vive la preservation de paroles!
Carmelo, I have to disagree. I think people read Olivier’s entries regardless. If only “geeks” know about the RSS button, then it probably won’t influence too many people.
One expression I hear a particular friend uses a lot it c’est bordel! As for the RSS function, I’m not particularly geeky and I only load the website url to my google reader and it works like a charm.
Sort of stumbled onto the blog by sheer accident and just wanted to say it was the most entertaining read I’ve had in a while. Being an expat of the non-Brit, non-American variety (I know! We exist too!) now living in Paris, I’m always curious to know what the French think of themselves. And I have to say a lot of the people I know fit many of your descriptions to a T. Not sure if that’s a good thing or not! Congrats on the book deal. I’ll look forward to reading it once it’s out.
Mais c’est pas juste! Is that right?
Carmelo… Will try!
Diane… Don’t cry – really. Speaking will do!
Vlr… Carmelo (who’s my brother) is a closet geek!! And I do hope indeed that not all the people reading SPL are geeks! Last SPL get together would lead me to think it’s not the case…
Lil… C’est le bordel!! Yep. Or even better, “Putain, c’est quoi ce bordel?” For the interrogative souls!
M… Well that is very kind, thank you. You seem to speak quite impeccable English for a non anglo expat.
POulette… Absolutely!! Adult version of little kids’ “C’est pas du jeu”… We never really grow up that much, do we?!
Nice one!
Oh and don’t forget “je suis désolé”
C’est vrai, je suis désolé mais c’est un scandale !
So you take a good ripe “Mouais…”
Add a little “Tout ça pour dire que voilà quoi”
Mix in some “je veux dire que”
Add a teaspoon of “clairement”
Round it off with “c’est pas le tout mais…”
And cook it with some “c’est honteux!”
Sprinkle on a few guttural “euuuhhhh” here or there…
And there you have it: the perfect cocktail of your average Parisian unimpressed sentence.
“Mouais… Euuuh, Tout ça pour dire que voilà quoi… ‘Fin j’veux dire que, euuuh, clairement, euuuh, c’est pas le tout mais euuuh c’est honteux à la fin quoi”.
Henry… Yeah, not sure how these two combine but they do indeed.
Nathan… Arghhh… take me out of here!!