It is not easy being over fifty in Paris. Most men over fifty happen not to look gay, which screams that they are obviously one generation behind. They have no choice but to accept that situation for it is difficult to start looking gay after a few decades of looking straight.
Parisian males under fifty do not have such problems. They can happily look gay and have no one cast suspect that they are on the wrong side of the age hill. In Paris, gay men find themselves looking or acting gay and it is only fair. What is more surprising to the visitor is that the same pattern applies to the nongay Parisian male—who also finds himself looking and acting gay in most situations of life.
The first rule of a good Parisian male body is puniness. This objective is reached thanks to years of not exercising and not playing any sports at a competitive level. Add years of not drinking or eating in excess and the puniness grail can be reached. Check.
To cover their glorious bodies, Parisian males opt for clothes that rank somewhere between neutral and gay-looking. The beauty of a neutral piece of clothing on a puny body is that it immediately becomes gay-looking. Check. It is crucial to realize that, whether they choose to wear neutral or gay-looking clothes, heterosexual Parisian males do not have the intention to look gay. They look “bien, normal“.
Acting gay follows a similar pattern. While some homosexual males act gay for understandable reasons, visitors might be astonished at how gay heterosexual Parisian males usually act. Acting gay is to some extent a recent French habit, inherited from three decades of institutionalization of a cotton-candied, pacified vision of the world and of humans as a species. But once again, Parisians take this to the next level: when most French males outside Paris act gay on certain topics only, Parisians choose to go all the way. Gayness pervades every thought, every action. The concept of being “a real man” is vastly looked down upon for displaying far too obviously characteristics that relate to a lack of intelligence and refinement: concepts like strength, masculinity, physical power, and strong opinions or values are therefore very preoccupying in Paris. They are viewed as an open door to brutality. Parisians all agree that “Excuse-moi, mais un vrai mec, c’est pas des gros muscles, c’est d’abord quelqu’un qui peut prendre ses responsabilités tu vois“. May Parisians be fully reassured: we do voit.
At this point, one may feel compassion for the Parisian woman. Well, one should save his compassion for gay Parisian men. Gay Parisian men are probably the only people in Paris longing to see more testosterone around them. If anyone, they should be the subjects of one’s compassion. Parisian men are happy to think of themselves as beyond activities and behaviors that attest of a form of masculinity. As far as they’re concerned, Parisian women do not necessarily know any better. If their boyfriend looks gay, it is primarily because “c’est un mec hyper sympa, très fin, vraiment intelligent“. Parisian women have grown so wise that they have overcome their natural inclinations. Masculine works in magazines and in movies, but in reallife, it is coarse and rough. End of the story. The idea that a male human could be masculine as well as being a refined person is not one la Parisienne is ready to embrace.
Indeed, examples of such phenomena in Paris are rare enough to assume that the rule of Paris is probably the rule of nature.
Sound like a Parisian: “J’suis allé faire un peu de shopping: un p’tit t-shirt col V, des p’tites lunettes Kenzo et des espadrilles. Tranquille, quoi, pour l’été”…
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