Parisians are beings of culture. And of power.

As such, Parisians like to impose their cultural superiority.

An insidious way for Parisians to do so is by making lists. While other human beings make lists of things they have to do, Parisians make lists of things they know.

Such lists may sound useless. And they would be if Parisians were not gracious enough to share them with others. Many sentences in Paris will be ended by a list, a quick enumeration: a discreet display of knowledge. Eastern Europe economy is booming? The Parisian will enlighten others with a “Totally, yeah, Poland, Estonia, Ukraine, it’s crazy… completely booming”.

At this point, you would embarrass the Parisian for thanking him for this element of culture he brings to the table. He is being delicate and considerate with you and would appreciate equal courtesy from you in return.

Some argue that the less he knows, the more the Parisian comes up with lists (peacock syndrome). It is of course untrue, and please, excuse the Parisian for knowing that “philosophy is crucial, when you look at authors like Plato, Kant or Schopenhauer, I mean, you really get things”.

As the Parisian’s generosity and culture are endless, he will frequently share with professionals his own knowledge of their specialty. So at a restaurant, the Parisian will frequently explain to the chef how to really make the best cassoulet: “I usually go with white beans, garlic, sausage…”. He will of course always kindly let the taxi driver know about the best shortcuts through the city. And he usually will tell the florist the meaning of a bouquet of white roses. Foreigners believe that Parisians enjoy conversing for the sake of it. It is a tragic mistake. Conversations in Paris are just a means to act truly generously. A way to enrich others with first-hand knowledge and lists.

Parisians are just a bit more generous than you. Deal with it.

The most skilled Parisians take the list habit to the world of adjectives. They believe in the power of the Parisian tertiary rhythm. The Parisian tertiary rhythm could be described as a list of adjectives. For instance, a play is not just moving. In Paris, a play is “touching, moving, shaking…” A view is not just beautiful. In Paris, a view is “splendid, breathtaking, stunning…” To achieve full Parisian tertiary rhythm, two rules ought to be applied. Never use ‘and’ before your last adjective. And always finish up the list looking somewhat sad and disturbed. Parisians will greatly admire people that master the Parisian tertiary rhythm. To show that he is not taking himself seriously, the Parisian will mock the Parisian tertiary rhythm by turning it into a quintuple rhythm. This is the Parisian’s surest chance to seem educated, sensitive and humorous all at once.

Needless to say, questioning the pertinence of a list is awfully rude. In France, pupils are not to question teachers. Similarly, people are not to question Parisians.

Especially on their lists.

Useful tip: Make sure you always have a notebook when spending time with a Parisian.
Sound like a Parisian: « L’Italie, c’est trop beau… Naples, Florence, Rome…»

Tags: conversations, lists, notes, parisians

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 13th, 2008 and is filed under Stuff Parisians Like. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.