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La Parisienne is a myth. Straight up.
Walking in Paris fancy neighbourhoods, one will surely run into many pretty and elegant women. Granted. But what most foreigners do not know about Parisian women is that they all share the same objective in life. The same motto that guides every single one of their actions. And that is: not to be a slut.
The consequences of standing for such a noble cause are plenty. The most evident ones are: absence of flirting, resolute absence of sex appeal, constant sobriety, no cleavage and contempt for all women who do not stand for the same cause… Throughout their twenties and thirties, most Parisiennes are in a relationship (which of course annihilates the concept of a single scene in Paris). No matter how lame it is, a stable relationship is the best shield against being considered a slut.
At some point though, their relationship comes to an end, usually when Parisian men get sick of begging their women for oral gratification. These break-ups lead to very serious life questioning and to much experimentation that usually goes untold at family reunions.
Needless to say, this unilateral take on life plunges both Parisian men and women into a very deep sexual misery.
Thankfully enough, Paris is a beautiful city.
A quick peak inside a Parisian bar will give you a good indication of how love works in the City of Love. A traditional bar in Paris will be 75% guys. 22% foreign girls and a handful of French girls on the loose (usually just accompanying their boyfriends). In bars, Parisian men discover an unsuspected reality: foreign girls are different. They can dance. They drink. They have fun.
There is usually no coming back.
Examples of illustrious Frenchmen ending up with foreign women are plenty: our current President (Italian) and Prime Minister (Welsh), Vincent Cassel (Italian), Olivier Martinez (Australian)… Proving that even for Parisian men with wealth, charm and power, foreign women are, really, the way to go.
NB: At Ô Chateau, we fight against sexual misery in Paris. We organize each Monday a “Champagne Bus Party” which is a great way to meet people that like to have a good time.
Useful tip: When liking a Parisienne, start not liking her, it will make her like you
Sound like a Parisienne: « Pfff…»
Tags: foreign girls, foreigners, fun, girls, Paris, sex, sexual misery, women
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Russian Liz… My hope for young and future Parisian men: that single women worldwide realize one day that Paris is a gigantic cookie jar for them! (glad you enjoyed the post)
I’m a parisienne but I dance, I drink , and I have fun…
What is wrong with me?!!?
I guess I should be thankful for all the trips I did!
Cécile… Shrink?!
Well… I’m a French girl, not a Parisian but living in Paris for three years… and my boyfriends have never been Parisian guys because I think Parisian guys are as complicated and withdrawn as Parisian girls !!! The fact is true for both ! I still wait for the “gigantic cookie jar” of Parisian single men you mentionned ! And I still wait for Parisian men with sense of humor…. And, true, I feel life is so relax and easy-going when being in province. or abroad… guys are smiling and take care of you : “ouf” !
I have to add that I love enjoying life, love dancing and singing and laughing (been one year in Brazil, it must be that !!!) and don’t care about what people, even straight arrogant Parisians think bout me
good post though ! I had had the same conclusions long time ago
I think girls of every country feel like they can be more crazy when they are abroad.
mmh… maybe. But I’d like to feel crazy also in the place I live !
I take it the point of the post is to tell the sexy Parisienne that you don’t like her, so that she’ll fall for you…
Delphine… Maybe those cookies have rotten?
Laurent… True. Let’s send these Parisiennes overseas for a stage. Boot(ie) camp!!
Delphine… Well, you did your stage in Brazil already. See it works!
Jost… I’m not that sneaky. Plus I really don’t talk to most Parisiennes. Life is short and depressing enough!!
It’s true to the point all Parisiennes who happened to visit me where I currently live, that is in Zürich, are absolutely shocked seeing small groups of average (understand blonde / fit / young-ish) alledgedly scantily clad Swiss girls around the train station in the middle of the night, chatting and laughing while possibly waiting for the last tram, and who do not get harrassed every second day (“franchement c’est de la provoc’…” – “tu tiens pas 10min dans le RER comme ça” – “ah ben elles font pas le déplacement pour rien” etc etc).
Male friends usually get equally astounded but see less to reprove or complain about .
(Of course 1. style is not always exactly on par with what parisiennes consider good taste, 2. that does not seem to have any effect on Swiss males of the same age, who keep staring at their feet or up at the buildings around and 3. that does not make those girls easier to “approach” to non-Swiss, but Swiss contradictions are another story…)
I love Paris. I am a tell blonde texan, and the people were very freindly to me, even the french women who all thought that I must have a ranch….well we do..but I did not take my horse to Paris.
The men are very sexy and fun, but very forward. I am sure that the french women have to act a certain stricter way around the men, or they will never be left alone.
Hi everybody,
Olivier, I’ve just discover your blog, and I think it’s amazing…so true and accurate! And so, so, so funny! (I can say that the crossing the streets’ article is true in every way).
I usually fully agree with anything mentionned but I have to say that I slightly disagree on this one.
Being a true parisienne I can assess that yeah, being called a slut is the worst thing that can happen to you, and that every parisienne would maintain a certain appearance of coldness to avoid it at all costs.
Sexy as other countries will call it (Yes, British women I’m talking to you) is to be avoided, but when going out (because parisiennes go out, though not as nearly as much as their Britons’ collegues), parisiennes will try to be sexy, though in their own style (cleavage yes, but with a denim, short skirt is ok but without too outrageous stilettos and with no cleavage). I think parisienne’s concept of sexy is more subtle, and I can understand that a lot of men prefer a much obvious sexy.
One thing I realy do not agree with is the prude thing. I don’t believe that parisiennes are prude, they just appear to be. But underneath it’s fire under the ice. And we do BJs. I don’t know where you get that from, Olivier. I don’t know a single parisienne girls who is reluctant to them. In fact, comparing them to Italian women, parisiennes are way more “opened”. You can’t talk sex with Italian women even when you are a girl.
I know a lot of single parisiennes, laughing out loud, having fun and dancing (but with a certain “retenue” and not smiling of course!).
And yeah, we like and do flirt, though, it usually is conversation flirting (and thus it must be witty), and thus, again, more subtle.
I just wanted to add a insight into parisiennes’ world. Olivier if you need help next time to get into parisiennes’ mind, I’ll be glad to help!
But I really do get why guys would prefer foreign girls: something new, with limit date, and much more fun!
Thing that is the most funny is that Milenese girls (I have moved out off Paris to Milano for a year) are very similar to parisiennes, at least in their attitude, because their sexy is very short and much cleavage sexy, but boy, you can’t touch. I don’t know, what is the worst for you guys?
Frogeater… You suddenly turned Zurich into a city I now want to visit. Chapeau bas!!
Marie… Probably indeed. One can only resent the negative/defensive vibe – not many good things come out of negativity!
Capucine… If I were to shut down this blog on a grandiose comment, I think the lines “And we do BJs. I don’t know where you get that from, Olivier. I don’t know a single parisienne girl who is reluctant to them” would be it. I think you made me reach right there the most glorious moment of my blogging career. Thank you for that.
Well, right…probably not the best comment and definitely not the classiest…but there were other things than that…it is a shame it is the thing you’ve picked up out of everything else.
Ok, I love your blog, but you speak perfect English and I just wanted to know… are you French, or are you not? Because if you are actually French than this blog becomes phenomenal… These are all of the things I have realized myself living as a foreigner in Paris, especially the blog about wearing black… but I would love to know that there are French people who see all of this too… so aaaare you French?
Capucine… I was only being cheeky. I genuinely enjoyed your comment. But you know… boys will be boys!
Hannah… Yes, I am! (thanks for your lovely words)
Your blog is really witty ! This is a old post but I’ve only just read it so I had to comment anyway (mieux vaut tard que jamais…). Anyway have you heard of Thomas Hellman? He’s a singer from Montreal, born to a french mother and a texan father (interesting mix, isn’t it?). One of his songs: “Les filles de Montréal” says this about parisian girls:
“C’est vrai qu’il y a les filles de Paris,
C’est vrai qu’elles sont vraiment très jolies,
Mais les filles de Paris vous regardent de si haut,
Vous devenez tout petit tout petit…”
I reckon he’s referring to the same attitude! I thought it was a bit harsh… guess not! (He then proceeds to pay what in my opinion is a rather dubious but entertaining compliment to les filles de Montréal). You’d probably enjoy it!
I think Capucine, by reacting to Olivier’s clearly jokey response so peevishly, in a small way strengthens his argument (nuances of language and humour notwithstanding).
Ivy… Thank you very much. I’ll look that song up! Rather dubious but entertaining sounds like something I would enjoy.
Arch Stanton… Don’t you be bashing a BJ giving Parisian woman. Capucine might reinforce my argument but she’s a gem!
best i’ve read about french women is in:
French or Foe?: Getting the Most Out of Visiting, Living and Working in France
by Polly Platt
I think she’d agree with you on some points.
Hilarious, but true. I find this to be true not just in Paris, but a number of European cities. I am not sure who it speaks to more, foreign women or “native” men.
[...] mother sent me a lien to a blog post that made me éclater de [...]
I have lots of french (male) friends and they all tell me they prefer foreign girls, yet they date these extremely possessive, bitchy and snob parisian girls. And they put up with it, for some reason!! I’d like to understand that…
Granted, parisian girls and so put together and stylish, most of us foreign girls who try to pull off that look can’t manage to look as cool as them.
Maybe there’s a reason I have a ton of french male friends and only a handful of girlfriends…
Vinny… Haven’t read it. Problem with many of these books written by foreigners about France or the French is that these people necessarily have a superficial knowledge of the country or its people. Doesn’t mean what they say is not fun or interesting, simply means that it mostly corresponds to their experience – which being by essence somewhat limited – leads them to draw quick conclusions of phenomena they can’t grasp fully, especially if they live in a village of Provence or in St Germain des Pres.
Paris fan… I’d say native men! Most Parisian women see themselves as fun and playful enough.
Larissa… Parisian men enjoy a form of misery.
guys !! well… must say i had as much fun reading the article as all the comments below ! Parisiennes can really unleash passions
)
I am French and have lived abroad all my life until 3 years ago when i came to work in Paris… and got it is hard being considered a slut ! but I think the Parisienne attitude is a city thing : you do get the same feeling when you go to Madrid (the madrileñas are way worse than the Parisians), and also in Italy, as mentionned by many girls here !
I think it is just a vicious circle : in Paris you will find the best looking boys (i have made my own benchmark !), who are indecisive as there is so much choice of beautiful women in Paris, hence, don’t know how to act with the girls and end up splitting up and seeming unreachable whilst they are just being immature and unable to choose between compromising themselves with a girl or staying single all their lives (which is against their christian education)…
So : girls will try to behave as unreachable as possible, so that the men need to slave away to get them, and once they have struggled so much to finally get a result, THEY WILL STAY !
but of course, this makes french girls boring and unable to let themselves go. but as said also previously, it is only the girls from the upper-middle class who are like that.
from my own point of view : i have stopped dating french guys as they are unbelievably complicated too !
Tangerine… You might be right… the Parisien might stay. But usually for the wrong reasons. All this makes the love market in Paris quite similar to the job market in France (this might be the ugliest sentence ever written).
Hi Olivier, I just came across your blog a few days ago and absolutely love it. Everything I’ve read so far is right on the money, the allure of foreign women included.
I’m originally from a small town in SoCal but have been living in Paris since 2001 and have had plenty of opportunities to observe the very clear differences between les Parisiennes and les étrangères. Especially Canadian/American ones, hee hee. Bravo on your wonderful blog – keep it up!
My Parisian flatmate wanted to be a slut. She moved to Barcelona.
Love the blog!
Stefan
LOL, Stefan!
LOVING the posts as well as the comments – only living in Paris would inform me more! What I find fascinating is that where I am from, Toronto, most women I know don’t dress for themselves but to attract, naturally, men.
North American men, in general, are all about “tits and ass.” Deep down (and sometimes not so deep), men, no matter where they are from, are all about tits and ass. Somehow, Parisian/French women have gotten away with dressing for themselves – as a woman living in T&A land, I am envious!
What if an etranger wanted to meet a French man for a real relationship???
i totaly agree with you.
you should take a look at my article on the subject :
How to date a Parisian girl – Episode 1
http://theswedishbed.wordpress.com/2010/04/02/how-to-date-a-parisian-girl-episode-1/
[...] Parisians Life: Foreign Girls (there’s still [...]
[...] This article really lays it out well. And the thing about the bars is *absolutely* true. It’s bizarre that I never though of it this way, but last night I went to a dinner party with only young parisians, and lo and behold, they totally held up the descriptions in this article. 1) None of the girls knew each other, with one exception. They were all there with their boyfriends. 2) They were all wearing rather conservative clothing, despite the heat (and they all were wearing white lacy shirts! This has more to do with the fact that there is no individuality here than anything else). 3) There was much coldness and no flirting. [...]