While the French have gained a much deserved reputation for complaining a lot, Parisians take this art to a higher level. In Paris, enthusiasm is considered a mild form of retardation. If you are happy, you must be stupid. On the other hand, if you complain, you must be smart.
A beautiful Parisian syllogism is at hand here: the person who complains is the person who spotted the problem. The person who spotted the problem is the smart person. Therefore, the person who complains is the smart person.
This of course has been affecting deeply the Parisian mind. These days, complaining has become a by-default mode for most Parisians. Making the Parisian a constantly smart person. On top of being, obviously, a lucid one, gifted with the wisdom of not fooling himself with the idiotic perspective of simple happiness. In Paris, complaining is a great remedy to happiness, and therefore to retardation.
With much talent, Parisians manage to constantly tarnish their reality by always finding something to complain about: the food served, people, their jobs, their bosses, the metro, their neighbors, politicians…
The more systematically the Parisian complains, the higher up he ranks in the Parisians hierarchy of intelligent people. The more creative the subject of the complaint is, the more liked and admired the Parisian will be by his Parisian peers (if there is such a thing).
Complaining about the weather or reality television will merely have you accepted by other Parisians. Complaining about much raved about, and broadly admired things in Paris like Woody Allen’s movies, Picnics on the Champ de Mars, or seating at a terrasse will immediately place you somewhere between irresistibly original and delightfully iconoclastic.
Needless to say, the idea of actually doing something about what he’s complaining about does not cross the Parisian’s mind (you’re so vulgar at times).
In the end, the rhetoric of complaining in Paris is fool proof:
You’re not happy but you’re smart.
You’re not happy because you’re smart.
Gosh, it is good to be a Parisian!
Useful tip: For increased levels of perceived intelligence, be creative in the things or people you complain about
Sound like a Parisian: « Il fait vraiment trop chaud, c’est insupportable »