Parisians live in the comfortable belief that they master French better than anyone else.
Not only do they speak the best French, they also speak French the best. If the French language were a summit, Parisians would be standing at the very top of it. The fact that most Parisians speak a dumbed down, English-sprinkled and verlan-twisted form of French is irrelevant. Parisians are the Edmund Hillarys of French.
One of the things Parisians enjoy the most in life is learning new incorrect terms, usages or phrases. While Parisians are unable to remember jokes, they systematically remember common incorrectnesses in French. Finding out about these satisfies the Parisian to the highest level. The Parisian is at the summit - and now he has a ladder.
Learning about incorrect terms or usages is truly the gift that keeps giving. The gift that keeps differentiating the Parisian from the plebs. Very nice gift that is to the Parisian. Anytime the Parisian hears someone make incorrect use of his language, he shall feel good about himself. He shall not necessarily correct the person. That would be like interrupting a coitus between the Parisian and himself.
Parisians find little pleasure in spotting crass errors like malgré que. These bother him. So do beauf and ugly phrases like “au jour d’aujourd’hui“ or “aller sur Paris“. What the Parisian enjoys is errors that are unsuspected by most. Errors people like him would make. For instance, the Parisian loves to hear après que followed by subjonctif . That is a sweet moment. He loves it when a friend “se rappelle de ce moment“. Friends can bring joy after all.
Syntax mistakes are lovely. But vocabulary or spelling misshaps also happen. They too bring their fair share of satisfaction to the Parisian. For that matter, the Parisian loves to read “Autant pour moi“, he loves to hear “deuxième” instead of “second”, he shivers with joy when he hears “par contre”. In Paris, knowledge is not power. Knowledge is joy.
Spotting slight errors is a devouring passion - the French language is to that respect a Parisian’s favorite playground. But etiquette ranks not so far behind. Parisians love to hear things that most people think are polite while proper French etiquette says they are not. Things like “Bon Appétit” or “A vos souhaits” are to to that extent delicate strokes on the Parisian’s ego.
Faced with slight errors, the Parisian experiences joy and control. His education becomes tangible and immediately pleasurable. At that point, he will choose either to point out and to correct the error - or not to. Defining which strategy implies the greatest amount of satisfaction and ego is a fully open debate. Not one the Parisian finds any interest in though. No matter what his decision is: when he spots a slight error, the Parisian shall feel great. The French language is indeed a beautiful one…
NB:
- Malgré que does not exist: Malgré does, and should be followed by a noun
- Au jour d’aujourd’hui… aujourd’hui should do (unless you’re a French journalist trying to look erudite or a person that thinks that French journalists really are erudite)
- Aller sur Paris… Aller à Paris or Partir pour Paris work just beautifully
- Se rappeler de… It’s actually “se rappeler quelquechose” or “se souvenir de quelquechose“
- Autant pour moi… is actually spelled “au temps pour moi”
- Second… should be used when there are only two elements. Deuxième applies when there are more than 2 elements.
- Par contre… Not used in proper French. Prefer “en revanche“
- Bon appétit…. refers to digestion, not necessarily something you want to bring up in good company
- A vos souhaits… French etiquette explains that by saying this, you stress that you did hear the person sneeze. Problem is: discretion is “de rigueur” in French sneezing. So by saying “à vos souhaits“, you actually point out the sneezer’s rudeness not only to him but also to everyone else in the room.
Useful tip: The Bible of proper French : Le Grévisse
Sound like a Parisian: “Tu sais qu’en fait, ca se dit pas ‘baser sur’ ?! C’est mon prof de français en prépa qui nous avait appris ça… c’est débile, je sais, mais j’aime bien retenir ce genre de trucs”
![[del.icio.us]](http://images.del.icio.us/static/img/delicious.small.gif){kind=small}
Tags: francais · french · french language · grammar · Parisian · proper · spelling42 Comments
42 responses so far ↓
haha quite true. the irony being that these mistakes are often not actual mistakes…for example it has become common over the years to consider “par contre” as incorrect while it has been used by lots of writers…
see the academie française website!
http://www.academie-francaise.fr/langue/questions.html#par_contre
probably that’s an even more sophisticated parisian pleasure to secretely mock someone who mocks someone else for using “par contre”…
Le Grévisse, c’est le français que l’on devrait parler. Mais plus personne ne le lit, sauf quelques enseignants sans lien social, et quelques étudiants sous pensum.
Mais le pire n’est pas le “parlé” français. C’est l’écrit. Demandez à un français de moins de 30 ans de vous faire parvenir un courrier, même électronique, de plus de dix lignes sur un sujet quelconque. Vous comprendrez.
Même les français ont du mal à se lire entre eux…
::
I *love* it!
The best is the Nota Bene éjaculatoire; the Parisian kept himself from correcting all the mistakes for the whole article, but at the end he can’t handle it anymore!
Dear Olivier, all my french amies correct my poor francais because I ask for it…but I can see the pleasure in the eyes, for instance, of the waiter at the restaurant when I order something and I make a mistake (pointed out later on by mon amie)…those eyes sho the pleasure of knowing they speak far better than I will ever do.
Although being from Argentina maybe helps (I read your post about foreigners), I try to be charming even with my horrible accent!!! hehe
I confess, people from Buenos Aires could be as snob as french so I am trained to resist the snobbery.
How come you know so much…about so much???
Olivier! A masterpiece of social observation and a lesson too, to us non native speakers. Je te remercie.
devowring= devouring and immediadetly = immediately though it gives me, as a non-Parisian, little pleasure in reporting this to you! PS. our GPS always says “seconde sortie” even when there are three or more!
Par contre
hehehehe. This is a commendable post with valuable language tips! I will undoubtedly continue to suck at French for a couple of years, but if I know one thing, it’s that “malgré que” is a straight up blasphemy. I have witnessed malgré que+subjonctif go down in front of a Parisian once, and I don’t know that I’ve ever heard a more passionate declamation of grammatical correctness.
C’est génial, malgré quelques petites erreurs de grammaire et de ponctuation. Est-ce que tu as besoin d’une editrice américaine?
Congratulations Olivier! One hell of a good entry. Thank you.
Peter - you forgot “Malgré does and should be followed” should be “Malgré IS and should be followed…”
CahinCaha… Writers are frequently former journalists
(Peter is one thorough editor)
Patrick B… Le parlé et l’écrit vont de pair… il s’agit d’amour, de respect pour la langue et ses richesses. Notre monde privilégie la facilité à l’effort. On aime à se contenter.
Pierre… Your comment made me laugh! I actually first started correcting every error in the post, then thought it made it too heavy. But you’re right for sure… it needed to be thrown out somewhere at some point!
The Chukker… Buenos Aires is, despite the snobbery, a fantastic city. Love how waiters there go ‘por favor’ so much. Now, as per your question… I really don’t!!
Peter…. You are most welcome. Thought learning about these little refinements of the French language (which is much more likable that most Parisians) could have been enjoyed by one or two people out there! Im not surprised you’re one of them. Thank you for correcting me - always very much appreciate that!
Ingo… Yeah, blasphemy is the right word. Same sort of league as “l’ami à xx” or “aller au coiffeur”! There no coming back socially from these.
Barbra… Thank you. Im all ears for corrections (truly am - Im so sorry BTW if I keep offending some with my far fromn perfect command of English). As per an editor, I guess Peter NL has the good grace of letting me know when I make errors. Now, in French “éditrice” means publisher. And I guess yes, I could use one…
Jost… Merci beaucoup!!
SundaysinParis… I meant that it does… exist
Let me offer the following though this is, and should be about French primarily!
Malgré que does not exist: Malgré does, and should be followed by a noun.
Olivier
my french teacher in “prepa” also killed anyone using “basé sur” and “de par”.
Where did you suffer ?
Actually, I now work with a Master in English Language who correct my (small) mistakes while he is not even able to be polite, good at english, or even at french.
Keep it up, you have one of the only blogs I know that manages to still be witty and funny and relevant after so many articles !!
Stephan
Why is it that you always point things I have JUST done ?
Why should I have to read your “Cherry Tomatoes” entry just after eating and commending cherry tomatoes, or read this very post just after writing en email to a friend explaining that his use of an colloquial expression (”Boire le calice jusqu’à la lie”, BTW) was not only wrongly used, but also quite comical in the situation. A mighty victory.
I sincerely begin to wonder if you could be following me, taking notes of my many faults and publish them on your blog.
I’ll keep an eye behind me for a little while…
Peter… Merci. I like to mess up with punctuation. Have a vague addiction to ?!s and …s
Stephan… Near Notre-Dame it was. Thank you for your encouragements. I will try not to disappoint!
Ash… That’s funny. Time to mess up your lifestyle maybe?!
Near Notre Dame… mmm I am afraid that I count 4 places there… top level classes prepa…
Poor man anyway
Does the French insistence on speaking and writing grammatically correct French (and criticising those who don’t) bear an inverse relation to their shameless mangling of the English language? Is this because French people actually believe that they write excellent English, or do they derive secret pleasure from mangling the language of the perfidious Albians? (not meant personally by the way, I love your blog)
Does the French insistence on speaking and writing grammatically correct French (and criticising those who don’t) bear an inverse relation to their shameless mangling of the English language? Is this because French people actually believe that they write excellent English, or do they derive secret pleasure from mangling the language of the perfidious Albians? (not meant personally by the way, I love your blog)
The quote “sound like a Parisian” is especially well chosen. I must have myself uttered those “I learned in prépa” a couple of times, as did a lot of friends of mine. It’s definitely one of those places where you learn “la distinction”.
(and I also recognized myself in the fact that “Parisians are not able to remember a joke”… but I did not know it was a general fact about parisians!)
Hilarious. The bit about not remembering jokes but being able to list common French mistakes is brilliant. I am clearly NOT Parisian because whenever I point out the stray error to a French person, I am not happy. Instead I am totally frustrated. Because they never believe me!!
Stéphan… I plead guilty!
Natasha… I was so about to take that personnally until that last sentence! I guess this somewhat has to do with vaguely aesthetic considerations. French people view the French language as beautiful. English is a language they get by in. Thats good enough for them. Une fois n est pas coutume, je vais prendre la défense des Français: they are not the only ones mangling English. I dont even suspect a form of malicious gallic pleasure. That would take realizing that they are!
Markss… I guess i have educated readers… Thats kinda nice! As per the joke thing - i think it is indeed a Parisian pathology. Btw… What do you call a man with a seagul on his head?!…. Cliff.
Jonnifer… Merci merci!! You correct French people in French?! That confines to verbal S&M!!
As always, your observations are “le top”. Very funny and VERY true. Unbeknowst to many foreigners who love Paris but don’t live here, however, is the dirty little secret that one can hear absolutely abysmal French every minute of every hour of the day. Quelle horreur!
How true! But I also like how Parisians make fun of provintial accents. ..then even normal phrase sounds weird ))
allways nice to come here. I’m a parisian and Ilove to hear about us. It’s a great time .
A bientôt.
Christian
Je suis tombé sur ton blog par hasard et je le trouve vraiment trop sympa. You capture the stéréotypes parisiens so well but with an amazing english writing style, its actually quite impressive for a bilingual parisian like myself. Are you French or Enlish?
You should do an article on the “Café-clope en terrasse” and on the “RATP grèves”.
ah….le Grévisse—eh oui..il sévit toujours !
c’est incroyable mais je n’arriverai jamais à dire “par contre”…En bonne ex-parisienne que je suis, je m’applique toujours à dire haut et fort, “en revanche” et des expressions poussiéreuses comme
“peu me chaut” !
..c’est grave ?
so true and funny but you forgot to point out the class factor!
we do not have accents to cast us but the language is the field where classes fights.
to say “bon appétit” is no nonsense, it’s just gonna label you as “middle class”.
Oups sorry I read too fast!! you pointed out the class factor you can delete my two comments!!
Very nice as an article, and rather true. It would indeed be interesting to see how the Parisians write.
came looking for some afternoon entertainment but found nothing new..
will wait patiently for some brilliance from you!
x
John… Merci. I guess we do a better job at preserving our monuments than our culture!
Liz… That is true.
Le Blanc Moussu… Thank you. i’d be interested to find out the proportion of Parisians reading this blog. I’d anticipate pretty low!
Francois… Thank you (for your suggestions as well). And I am French I’m afraid!
My Castle in Spain… Grave - je ne pense pas, non! Though “peu me chaut” sends out a weird, vaguely corny vibe.
Anais… I like comments too much to delete any of them!
Eric… In English as far as I’m concerned
Clairette… Working on a new one but since it should be rather controversial - I dont want to mess it up!
I believe this is true of all French people, not just Parisians. My French friends always correct the slightest mistake I make. They however, continue to hold on to the belief that they speak perfect English when it is in fact full of grammatical mistakes that make me cringe. I can never correct them because they will most likely claim they are using British English when they are obviously not. Oh well, but as my mom says, ‘If you are correcting me, it is because you obviously understood me’ (rough translation from Spanish).
Kathy… Ah… the good old reference to “British English”! French people are priceless in some ways!
This blog is great! I’m an American living in Paris for the third time, and your entries are pointing out lots of things I’ve never noticed.
I once informed a native speaker about the avant que/après que rule– c’était exquis…
Another English thing to note, since you use the phrase pretty often: it’s not, “the gift that keeps giving,” it’s “the gift that keeps ON giving.”
It never hurts to have a few gentle reminders of common French errors for us non-native speakers. Being reminded that French people make these errors as well makes it all the easier to swallow!
Incidentally, is it mostly native or non-native speakers who make the “malgré que” mistake? In English, we have the the same construction, so it seems like we would get it right. For example, we would say “In spite of his ignorance” (noun), not “In spite that he’s ignorant”.
Kendra… Thank you. I like to be corrected. “Apres que” is quite the delight indeed. Indicatif after it sounds weird. Weird but right is pure mental treat!
Noelle… For your “malgre que” question, I think its best to read the “beauf” post. English sort of swings both ways: In spite of / Despite. No mistake to be made - or twice as many!!
So true and so funny!! I always correct people making these errors. I don’t like listening to it and not correcting it. I can’t stand “au jour d’aujourd’hui”!! This makes me mad! LOL
I have only heard Parisians say “sur Paris”, actually.
Ha, ha Grevisse is Belgian! And here’s my killer comment: No acute accent in Maurice Grevisse’s name or the title of Le Bon usage. http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maurice_Grevisse
“Aller au coiffeur” sounds like an error only a non-francophone would make. Here in Québec, and probably elsewhere, “L’ami À quelqu’un” is very colloquial, “populaire”, sometimes used familiarly in the same way an educated Parisian might use expressions and tournures from verlan and other popular French.
Emilie… And when you think there is probably a fair number we don’t even know about…
Lagatta… “Sur + lieu” you hear everywhere in France now. Horrid! Love your Grevisse comment - had no idea - thank you for that! “L’ami À” in France is really a class thing. Educated French who want to be cool say “le copain de, le pote de…” never “À”! Social risk too high!
Absolutely killer. I am 100% guilty of this (even starting a business around it).
The killer part is the surreptitiously bragging “C’est mon prof de prépa qui nous l’avait appris…”
Also, congratulations on your knowledge of proper French and étiquette.
@ Patrick B.
Courrier est le porteur des lettres ou un échange de lettres. Il n’y a pas de courrier “unique” …
Bigre, serais-je une vraie parisienne ?
“L’ami à” is a class thing in Québec too, but it is sometimes used ironically or “pour faire peuple”. Funny how in France it is acceptable to do that with vocabulary “pote” etc. but not with syntax.
Hello,
Trop drôle, but I think you forgot one…
the illustrious “des fois” as in:
” Des fois, je vais au Bon Marché, mais je trouve que c’est plus cher que le Printemps” ou “Des fois, j’aimerai bien aller chez Dessange, mais Toni & Guy est plus raisonnable.”
I hear des fois at least 3 times a day but of course will NEVER DARE to correct the culprits out of fear of being a complete social outcast at work or worst – beheaded.
I look forward to reading more! Bravo!!