Intelligence is easy in Paris.
For kids, intelligence takes the form of good grades. For grown ups, intelligence equals wearing suits.
Since good grades lead to wearing suits, a clear continuum exists between intelligent children and intelligent grown ups.
Expectedly enough, the expressions of intelligence follow the activities and behaviours of the category of intelligent people.
For adults, intelligence can only be applied to suit-requiring activities. Incidentally, the object of intelligence becomes the subject of intelligence.
The definition of intelligence thus shifted deprives most people of ever being considered even remotely intelligent.
Top of that list: fun people.
While intelligent people could very well be witty (yet not fun), fun people can by no means be intelligent. Obviously. For if they were, they would not be fun. They would be witty.
Yet, Parisians love fun people.
Somehow like grown ups love children. With a form of melancholic condescendence. Bittersweet ego petting.
Parisians love fun people primarily because they love to be entertained. But their approach to entertainment is mostly a passive one. The Parisian does not partake in the game of fun. He watches it. The company of fun people is to that extent thoroughly enjoyable to the Parisian. Live theatre that is. Despite this delightful pleasure, it is important for the Parisian to keep contacts with fun people rare and relatively indirect. Befriending a fun person can only cause stains of fun on the Parisian’s intelligence outfit. Good friends in Paris should be nice. Or cool. But certainly not fun. Fun people in Paris are bound to stop being fun or be lonely. For if they stick to their fun ways, the will be treated exactly like waiters at a Chinese restaurant: with distance and condescendence – yet always with a genuine appreciation for what they offer.
The idea that intelligence could take various forms and be expressed in diverse fashions is obviously new age rubbish. Parisians know that people who actually think that are losers. The idea that intelligence could be used to make life more fun has never crossed any Parisians’ mind. Ever. It is a silly thought indeed.
Parisians being intelligent, they cannot be fun. But they do love their fun people. Even better than the entertainment they bring to the table; fun people deliver live disguised pain to the Parisian. A broken mirror. All Parisians know that fun people are acting fun just to hide their own pain. Fun people are traumatised and suffering beings. Sad clowns. That is obvious Parisian knowledge (and certainly not cheap psychology). The most traumatised of all are comedians. The Parisian really enjoys watching comedians perform. First for he gets to be entertained in a totally passive and non-committing way. But what really satisfies him beyond the fun is the subsequent intimacy, the unspoken bond engrained in the certainty of sensing the comedian’s most intimate pain. I laugh with him but I understand him. I understand the jokes but more importantly, I understand the man. Distance, intimacy, superiority and maybe a little guilt… recipe for a Parisian shiver.
In the end, in Paris, the topic of fun in Paris is really easy: having fun is ok, being fun is not.
Matter of standards.
Useful tip: If you are fun, and a man and coming to Paris, welcome! If you are fun, and a woman, and coming to Paris, welcome too. But be prepared to be called a bitch by Parisian women. Yeah, Parisian women really look down on fun women…
Sound like a Parisian: “Oh non, pas lui… le ptit comique de service, c’est bon quoi…”
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Tags: entertainment · friends · fun · fun paris · Paris45 Comments
45 responses so far ↓
Olivier,
until recently I found your blog entries very funny…
Are you a real parisian ?
Witty Stephan
Salut Olivier - enoyed your tongue in cheek portrait of the fun-loving but anally retentive Parisian. Can’t help but think though that your usually excellent English has let you down a little as I think “detain” may not be the word you wanted or is there some existentialist explanation I have not had the depth to fathom???
Stephan… I have a sense of sacrifice!
Peter… Hello - thx for this. Fixed it. So not to worry… no need to question your depth - fully intact! Merci.
And whatever you do, for god’s sake, don’t smile too much! Makes me want to hold a Parisian down and tickle them till they pee. (which obviously shows why my silly self will never be taken seriously here…)
Hahaha this is EXACTLY how I felt when I was in France last christmas and in a French village. I was brought up to be open, friendly, fun and interested in what others have to say. Apparently in France, that is not an endearing feature!! And I learnt that very quickly!
So does this mean that you look down on yourself, Olivier?
Wow, that was a tough and challenging entry Oliver!
This post was forwarded to me by a friend, and I almost peed in my pants, because it’s so TRUE. I’m an American designer who owns a boutique in Paris (I’ve lived here for three years), and I see the way different nationalities shop. The French are by far the most serious. Have you ever noticed when you let out a really big laugh in a café that they just recoil in horror as if they’ve been smacked? Ah, but it’s still Paris……
Rachelle… Oh, you’re that type of person then…
ParlezVousKiwi… Gosh, if the features I describe here now infest the rest of France, i’m gonna return my French passport!
Barbra… You’d be surprised! Thankfully enough, I’m only fun(ish) in English. When speaking French, I’m pretty dull. Ouf!
Jost… really? what do you mean?
John Agee… Well, thank you very much. Glad about the ‘almost’ part! And yeah, I guess having fun is sort of ok… but what’s really ok is to have fun discretely… don’t you be spreading fun around, these things can be contagious!!
Oh! This one made me feel sad, even as I laughed, clownish like. Is it better to have fun in this short life, not caring or too dumb to notice if it causes others look down on you? Or to remain the superior being too preoccupied with the serious problems of the world to ever enjoy one’s life? Tough one.
Course, as an artist I will have to accept Parisian ridicule anyway next time I am there. Might as well enjoy myself…
Olivier, once again you nailed it. I don’t know how the French have put up with me for so long!
Cheryl… Presented like that, I don’t think it is that hard of a dilemma really.
WendyLyn… Must be the blonde hair!
This austere portrait reminds me of a parisian friend. She had moved to the US from Paris one year ago. During partytime and she would pass out hand-washed grapes and prune punch to the fun-having people all around her. Cracking a half-smile a time or two and quickly returning to her more serious tasks. A year later, she is the life of the fun party. It is as though she has broken free of her resolute seriousness and cannot be stopped.
Ingo… God Bless America!
Bonjour !
Je suis “tombée” sur votre blog un peu par hasard et vraiment, je l’apprécie beaucoup; je vous trouve très “witty”. J’ai eu plusieurs fois l’occasion de recommender Ochateau à mes clients américains à qui je donne des cours de cuisine en anglais.
Encore Bravo,
Anne
FoodieFroggy… que dire, sinon merci et merci!! A bientôt sans doute!
My friend and I just had a fabulous trip to Paris in April..it was to meet up with other bloggers and some expats..We had two who had flown in from Australia via america, my friend and I from Oxford uk..and the rest (10) more were american living in Paris married to French/ Italian/Albanian…we had such a fab fab time, we had never been …Just loved it!!
And I thought being able to make people laugh was a god given talent for which I should be grateful!
However, as I am not funny in French, I’m safe.
Anne… Sweet!
Ruth… Then you can really thank God!
You know, the being called a bitch by french women is absolutely true! I stayed with a male french friend in Paris for awhile and all of his male friends were friendly, talkative and funny…..even while their female friends, girlfriends and wives glared with utter hatred the entire time. I tried to be nice, but that made them hate me even more! In the end I decided to flirt with their men. I think that made them really hate me, but very slightly respect me.
And consider the fact that there is no real translation for “Have fun!” Amuse yourself well? No. Non, non, et non.
How true!
Christine… I’m sorry you had to go through this. Best not to mind Parisian girls too myuch really!See the ‘Foreign Women’ post for more on that.
Kim Adams… True true! Could be “Amuse-toi bien” but it’s different. And it’s more something you’d say to a kid than to a grown up (surprisingly enough). Along the same lines, there’s no word either for “successful” in France!!
Lisa A… Glad you agree. Honestly though, I sorta wish it weren’t true!
Wao, I wish I had found your blog a decade ago…but that was before blogs, wasn’t it?
I think I’ve just figured why I had such a hard time with my Parisian social life. I do know I was so frustrated with this lack of fun that I found the movie The Cable Guy hysterical and refreshing. Sad, huh?
I look forward to expanding my understanding of the enigma that is Paris!
Flartus… Thank you very much. Wow… ten years ago, I would never have even considered having a blog. Or a wine tasting company. Life takes funny turns at times! Haven’t seen that Cable Guy movie but will check it out… can’t be that bad with such a good title!
Flartus… Thank you very much. Wow… ten years ago, I would never have even considered having a blog. Or a wine tasting company. Life takes funny turns at times! Haven’t seen that Cable Guy movie but will check it out… can’t be that bad with such a good name!
Wow, I am really in trouble. I had FUN reading this post. I have been told I am fun to be with, and I think Parisians are fun, behind closed doors. But never in public. I could name a few intelligent, French authors known for their humorous novels.
I guess they were just having a miserable day.
Joan T… Well, I’m glad you had fun reading this blog. As per the rest, are you American?!!
Hmmm, so if one is aloof, distant, totally serious and un-funny, they should get along fine, right? I should fit right in.
By the way, well written. you nailed it style wise. : )
But Olivier what you describe (so well!) about Parisians could equally well apply to Edinburgh… (not to Glasgow (of course!))… but to be an Edinburgher (particularly a Morningside born-and-bred Edinburgher) is to to condescend to those de classe enough to ‘have fun’.
Perhaps it is the curse of those who think they are clever that they feel bound to demonstrate their ’serious’ or intelligent credentials - to avoid the possibility that any observer will form the belief that they are intellectually light-weight?
I’ll admit to a youthful dalliance with their approach to life and to fun - but with age has come liberation from the tyranny of keeping up appearances!!
Maybe, as a result - the only positive thing about ageing!- I feel free enough to admit that I love your blog!
I console myself by believing that French women are just jealous of my outrageous ability to be and have fun, and the positive response this gets from French men.
French men, I understand. They like me and I like them, too.
French women are a total mystery and I sometimes wonder if I will ever have a real French female friend. Or if I even want to.
Elizabeth… Well, if you think those are key qualities for a great social life, then yes. I tend to believe they’re not. Au contraire. Thing is, when you first get to Paris, the disadvantage you have compared to real Parisians is that they have old friends here. (see Sticking to their friends post for details). No need to get out there and conqueer them! Anyway, thank you very much for the style remark.
La Mujer Libre… Well, I just learnt something…. Heritage of the Auld (odd?) Alliance probably!! Thank you for your kind words. And i’m glad you slipped on the dark (but joyful) side!! the more the merrier!
Accidental Parisian… I guess you’re somewhere between stealing their puppy pets and corrupting their frustrated children: obviously, French women cannot like you. I guess you should be thankful for 30 million men to corrupt!
Alors ca c’est fort!
It seems you are referring to serious people in Paris, rather than intelligent. Intelligence is not equivalent to wearing a suit, in fact suits are so passe.
As I was a Parisian (lived there not born there), but I also lived in some big cities such as Tokyo and New York, I am not sure that what you are referring to is purely Parisian. All big cities have a lot of similarities.
There are millions of those people in suits, and let me tell you one thing, the majority are not “that” intelligent. Have you ever seen a school of fish?
Born4Holdem… The difference is that in NY or Tokyo, people recognize in artists, entrepreneurs and creative people a form of intelligence. In Paris, hardly. See… you obviously don’t wear suits and you left Paris…
I hope this isn’t too much fun, but I like it and thought you might too http://www.gef.free.fr/metro.html
Jess
Argh I keep forgetting that smiley face is so ugly.
Once again my ego gets a downturn while reading these lines. My first reaction is always the same : No, this is NOT true. Or at least exagerated. Then after a while I realize that yes, it is true.
Alas, I have to add again something to the balance : contrary to what you write above, not all funny people are looked down upon : nasty ones. The type that can destroy your ego or reputation in one or two sentences without the remostest guilt. These kind of “funny” people make Parisians laugh very much… when the joke is not at their own expense.
Fear, admiration, other people degradation : another good Parisian cocktail, but this was all for fun wasn’t it ?
Jess… Hello! That is really funny. Merci!!
Ash… I’m sorry, don’t mean to tweak your vision of Paris. Asfar as dry humor, you’re right, it’s probably the most respectable form of it. Probably because dry is only possible with a serious face!
I think that Intelligence is easy in Paris
[...] OK! Because I’m a foreigner, I’ll be allowed to step beyond the mature somber palette have du fun, both sartorially and otherwise. It’s because I’m stashing some secret pain, [...]
Does this explain the “Urban Myth of the Smiling Parisian Woman”. Are there none, because they don’t want to be labled a “bitch”? If so, I must commend them for their discipline.
While rooting around the internet trying to get a handle on the French obsession with macaroons and the cute little boxes they usually come in, I came upon your blog. I’ve much enjoyed reading your observations and the way you phrase them . For example - “stains of fun ” - this was such a perfect, perfect, perfect description. I have seen that exact look on faces in Paris and never understood what was going on. You are hilarious! A true social anthropologist. To me your posts are tongue in cheek, sort of wryly poking fun at oneself (as we Americans say), and yet while they are humorous and intentionally exaggerated, the depictions all contain a core of truth. To me this ability is what makes your words resonate and what also makes them so funny. Thanks for helping me to understand more about my favorite place and my favorite people, the French!
Erol… I was not aware such a myth existed. But i can confirm it couldn’t be further away from the truth. And I’ll put a smiley there just for good figure
Violet… I think it’s the first time I see the word ‘perfect’ used three times to qualify something I do. I like you. I’m glad you enjoy this little blog of mine. I’ll do my best not to disappoint in the future. Thank you for taking the time to write all these kind words.
I think it comes from their very strict upbringing. Have you seen how French parents and teachers yell at children? It’s horrible.