La Parisienne is a myth. Straight up.
Walking in Paris fancy neighbourhoods, one will surely run into many pretty and elegant women. Granted. But what most foreigners do not know about Parisian women is that they all share the same objective in life. The same motto that guides every single one of their actions. And that is: not to be a slut.
The consequences of standing for such a noble cause are plenty. The most evident ones are: absence of flirting, resolute absence of sex appeal, constant sobriety, no cleavage and contempt for all women who do not stand for the same cause… Throughout their twenties and thirties, most Parisiennes are in a relationship (which of course annihilates the concept of a single scene in Paris). No matter how lame it is, a stable relationship is the best shield against being considered a slut.
At some point though, their relationship comes to an end, usually when Parisian men get sick of begging their women for oral gratification. These break-ups lead to very serious life questioning and to much experimentation that usually goes untold at family reunions.
Needless to say, this unilateral take on life plunges both Parisian men and women into a very deep sexual misery.
Thankfully enough, Paris is a beautiful city.
A quick peak inside a Parisian bar will give you a good indication of how love works in the City of Love. A traditional bar in Paris will be 75% guys. 22% foreign girls and a handful of French girls on the loose (usually just accompanying their boyfriends). In bars, Parisian men discover an unsuspected reality: foreign girls are different. They can dance. They drink. They have fun.
There is usually no coming back.
Examples of illustrious Frenchmen ending up with foreign women are plenty: our current President (Italian) and Prime Minister (Welsh), Vincent Cassel (Italian), Olivier Martinez (Australian)… Proving that even for Parisian men with wealth, charm and power, foreign women are, really, the way to go.
NB: At Ô Chateau, we fight against sexual misery in Paris. We organize each month a “Rendez-Vous Wine” for singles in Paris.
Useful tip: When liking a Parisienne, start not liking her, it will make her like you
Sound like a Parisienne: « Pfff…»
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Tags: foreigners · girls · sex · women77 Comments
77 responses so far ↓
OMG! Iknew I was actually Parisian.
hahaha this is so true.
hmmm… this is so interesting conclusion… I love reading it.
/Ewa
Very funny….I agree with most although I have travelled the metro numerous occasions, having jumped on only to turn my head and see a “les parisiennes” with tops showing more than enough cleavage, so much so that I can’t tear my eyes away. And I turn to look at all the men in the carriage just to see if their eyes have been diverted also!
Hahahaha! Trop vrai!
I have an American friend (male) who says the same thing about us (American women). Maybe men just like foreign women. I do pity a man who has to beg for a bj though.
Your writing is hysterical and accurate. I have never so eagerly waited for a new posting in my life. Though I have realized a sad reality about myself, I would fit in very well in Paris….but then again, since I would be miserable BUT in Paris I could easily and happily handle it….
So that’s why, with my obviously foreign (read: daggy) clothes, Parisian men keep asking me to coffee!
Though I do think you should write about the men and their proclivity to think they are sexy beasts while being more then silghtly afraid that the world will discover they really aren’t. Quite a combo.
Things still not going your way??
Thanks a lot for this great post!
However, I’d like to state that Parisian women behavior described above mostly prevail for Wealthy districts parisian women.
On the other side of the spectrum, in other Paris’ districts women are as sexy as any other major Capital city in the world. Newly arrived parisian women, in Paris for a professional career boost, or coming to complete their college curriculum, are also really great. They succeed to keep their “Province” warm attitude while dressed trendy and sexy (no snikers here sir!).
Nonetheless, whatever they are from, one thing no one would contest, I hope, parisian women hibernate from September to end of April, period during which flirting is as rare as finding a smile on their face.
Agree?
Bon et alors moi c’est un Ecossais -mon cher et tendre qui a epouse une Parisienne… Le pauvre!
I must be living in a different Paris. OK, the bar scene is described correctly, but the fashion of clothes worn in the summer by the women of Paris are the best. Many former ex-pats, after retruning to the U.S., still miss the summers here even years after they have left…
Thank you guys for all these comments…
Nat / GV : I don’t believe pretty clothes and the occasional cleavage change a thing. The spirit is prude… so the vibe is lame!
Nicole : American girls… cold? Are we talking about the same America?!
Patricia: Thank you very much. I’ll do my best not to disappoint you too much
Fi: Coffee only?
YRO/DBSF: True that en province, and overseas, French girls are usually more friendly. Thank God!
My French husband married me, an American woman - dragged my ass all the way to Paris and we have discussed just this same thing. Your observations are consistent with ours- sadly. All of my husband’s French girlfriends will never dance or smile, rarely add to a conversation and are extremely possessive of their men. Many of them make their boyfriends miserable… yet they stay.
Maybe you can share your ideas on why the French men stay with these clingy, sad saps? Wow! I really thought it was just us being catty… meow meow.
And I agree with Patricia as I also eagerly await each post from you.
Correction: what I meant was “all of my husband’s friend’s girlfriends …. not his girlfriends (although that would hold true as well).
That’s exactly what I said when he told me that. Teases, sure, but never cold.
That explains why I had such a great time as a naive 19 year old in Paris, and the artist in the Place des Vosges who invited me to share some ‘illict moments’ when I returned 30 years later!
Well… I generally assume it’s coffee plus something a little extra! So I say no, and the reply is always, “Pourquoi?” to which I can only say, “Parce que!” because of my lack of French language, and walk merrily on my way.
On second thought, I have been known to reply to the original question with, “Pourquoi pas!” much to their delight.
I am convinced that all French men think of nothing else but sex all day long. French woman I am convinced do not. But thankfully, American woman I am sure think of nothing but– especially when they are visiting Paris.
Just FYI - the PM’s wife is Welsh, not Scottish.
[...] Quan me fait passer un article scandaleusement provocateur sur le “mythe de la parisienne” [...]
Américaines…fabuleux!
Bullshit!!!
Criticize the parisian woman just to promote ur party, is unfair and so ungentlemen…
The “parisienne” touch is still alive…
Hey!!
Hope you all had a great weekend.
Mouse: ‘Illicit moments’… damn, some guys are good!!
Jadore: seems likle your husband is the smart one of his friends!
Fi: Café gourmand?
Anglosaxonne: Good point - my mistake!
Ms Glaze: I’m afraid it’s not a French thing. The tyranny of physiology!
Sharon: what can I say?!
Ben: I’m afraid this blog is just a personal and humorous take on all things Parisian. I somewhat wish I didn’t, but I believe in every word I wrote there. I’m glad you don’t… My tip to you: don’t travel!
Last comment was maybe too much! But I love French Women! What I can do?
Nevertheless nice blog… post are interesting…
Yeah, Olivier, cafe gourmand… Tres gourmand!
It is more interesting to date a foreigner…
I tried to make friends among French women but did not succeed. I guess I was trying too hard..:) r was it something else?
I don’t like that being polite and nice has connotations of being stupid…
Olivier…when is your b-day?
Linny… Many things have connotations of being stupid in France.
I was born on a 5th of July.
If you ask to send me a present, just know that I gladly accept presents, wire transfers on my account in Switzerland, invitations to fancy restaurants and unforgettable bottles of wine all year round.
Now if you ask to know my sign… I guess that makes me a cancer. Is that a good thing?
yes I was asking for a sign. If you insist, though, I could send you a bottle of Southern Moravia wine. My French friends did not like it too much (I wonder what they said to their French friends) but you never know!!!:)
I am very impressed by your English and wit…
cf Mr Flaubert - “BLONDES: Plus chaudes que les brunes (v. brunes)… BRUNES: Plus chaudes que les blondes (v. blondes)… ROUSSES: V. blondes, brunes…” (Dictionnaire des idees recues). Plus ca change.
xb
Badaude… si seulement, ca pouvait changer… les Romantiques et les autres n’en seraient que plus heureux!
When I arrived in Paris from my Province, I always had a little smile on my face, since I didn’t understood why everyone in the metro seemed so depressed… However, I fast understood why Parisian women had this strange behaviour, after beeing accosted several times by very unpleasant and dull men, and after beeing insulted a lot of time because, no, I really didn’t want to waste any time drinking a coffee with such dull persons!
And know, in the metro or when walking alone in the street, I am certainly looking as sexy as smiling as the woman on the picture above
But if people, and especially strangers, just want to tlak a little or need some help, I am happy! However, they indeed have first to guess that I am not actually this grouchy person I seem to be
ah yes, I am an Americaine who has enjoyed many illicit rendezvous with sexy French men. thank god the Parisiennes are so cold - it makes the mecs so easy to seduce! someday I’ll get back to Paris…
fun blog, keep it up
Good words.
I think Parisian women are the most beautiful around the whole world. They are decent and never being a slut
La Parisienne are always target for foreign men
Easy, and totally unfair. Guess you dated and observed every single Parisian woman before writing this article? And about the rest of your blog: it’s very funny and a bit pretentious for you to think you can allow yourself to generalize so much. I like the idea of your blog, too bad you wrote it in that way…
Magalie… Don’t let Paris hurt you any further!
C… Men tend to be easy in general, but frustrated men… piece of cake!
Cary… Thx
AntiH… Really? That’s quite the big news!!
FAM… Yeah, just for a few hours usually, then they understand!
Oolalaloo… Let me guess: you’re French! To answer your question, no, thank God I didn’t get to date every single Parisian woman. Life’s too short. And no matter how pretentious this blog is, I’m not sure I would deserve that.
Yes, I am. But in the end that doesn’t really matter. You could have said the same about Black people, Asians, or homosexuals, I would have made exactly the same comment.
Ooolalaooo… It doesn’t really matter but it’s so obvious. It actually tends to prove my point for the record. As per your gay/black comment, it’s so fully irrelevant, that I’ll just let it slide.
Very true bits of advice here, but it applies to women everywhere lol.. I sometimes think they all share the same core “emmotional” values no matter where you are.
It’s not. You just cannot tar everybody with the same brush.
Jesse… What’s the song again?! “I wish they all could be Calidfornian girls…”
Ooolalaooo… Dare me?!
I totally agree with your blog and I reeeeally love it, it’s sooo accurate !! But honestly, who are your friends in Paris to say that Parisian girls are not interested in sex ? Oral stuff ? Are almost all “in a relationship” ? Hahaha !!!
Cmon, you know that’s wrong !!
Some said here that people like dating foreign people and that’s all. Abroad, people doesn’t say so of French girls
(Yeah, I’m a Parisienne …)
Wow! Funny post and I agree with every word.
It has been 6 years since I moved to Paris from Rome and am still surprised by Parisian girls. It seems that “Paris” works like a brand name for them and they do little effort (read “none”) to earn it )))
Needless to say that, Russian as I am, I get no mercy in stereotype comments regarding my origins :))) … and majority of my French friends are men. Never noticed this in other countries I’ve lived in before))
Mam… Well, abroad, abroad, abroad… Parisiennes behave abroad like normal non-religious women tend to behave in the West: they have fun. Sadly enough… they choose not to in Paris. Also, I didn’t say they were not interested in sex - they probably are. Just like they are probably nice and friendly people in the inside. You just cannot tell!!
Russian Liz… My hope for young and future Parisian men: that single women worldwide realize one day that Paris is a gigantic cookie jar for them! (glad you enjoyed the post)
I’m a parisienne but I dance, I drink , and I have fun…
What is wrong with me?!!?
I guess I should be thankful for all the trips I did!
Cécile… Shrink?!
Well… I’m a French girl, not a Parisian but living in Paris for three years… and my boyfriends have never been Parisian guys because I think Parisian guys are as complicated and withdrawn as Parisian girls !!! The fact is true for both ! I still wait for the “gigantic cookie jar” of Parisian single men you mentionned ! And I still wait for Parisian men with sense of humor…. And, true, I feel life is so relax and easy-going when being in province. or abroad… guys are smiling and take care of you : “ouf” !
I have to add that I love enjoying life, love dancing and singing and laughing (been one year in Brazil, it must be that !!!) and don’t care about what people, even straight arrogant Parisians think bout me
good post though ! I had had the same conclusions long time ago
I think girls of every country feel like they can be more crazy when they are abroad.
mmh… maybe. But I’d like to feel crazy also in the place I live !
I take it the point of the post is to tell the sexy Parisienne that you don’t like her, so that she’ll fall for you…
Delphine… Maybe those cookies have rotten?
Laurent… True. Let’s send these Parisiennes overseas for a stage. Boot(ie) camp!!
Delphine… Well, you did your stage in Brazil already. See it works!
Jost… I’m not that sneaky. Plus I really don’t talk to most Parisiennes. Life is short and depressing enough!!
It’s true to the point all Parisiennes who happened to visit me where I currently live, that is in Zürich, are absolutely shocked seeing small groups of average (understand blonde / fit / young-ish) alledgedly scantily clad Swiss girls around the train station in the middle of the night, chatting and laughing while possibly waiting for the last tram, and who do not get harrassed every second day (”franchement c’est de la provoc’…” - “tu tiens pas 10min dans le RER comme ça” - “ah ben elles font pas le déplacement pour rien” etc etc).
Male friends usually get equally astounded but see less to reprove or complain about .
(Of course 1. style is not always exactly on par with what parisiennes consider good taste, 2. that does not seem to have any effect on Swiss males of the same age, who keep staring at their feet or up at the buildings around and 3. that does not make those girls easier to “approach” to non-Swiss, but Swiss contradictions are another story…)
I love Paris. I am a tell blonde texan, and the people were very freindly to me, even the french women who all thought that I must have a ranch….well we do..but I did not take my horse to Paris.
The men are very sexy and fun, but very forward. I am sure that the french women have to act a certain stricter way around the men, or they will never be left alone.
Hi everybody,
Olivier, I’ve just discover your blog, and I think it’s amazing…so true and accurate! And so, so, so funny! (I can say that the crossing the streets’ article is true in every way).
I usually fully agree with anything mentionned but I have to say that I slightly disagree on this one.
Being a true parisienne I can assess that yeah, being called a slut is the worst thing that can happen to you, and that every parisienne would maintain a certain appearance of coldness to avoid it at all costs.
Sexy as other countries will call it (Yes, British women I’m talking to you) is to be avoided, but when going out (because parisiennes go out, though not as nearly as much as their Britons’ collegues), parisiennes will try to be sexy, though in their own style (cleavage yes, but with a denim, short skirt is ok but without too outrageous stilettos and with no cleavage). I think parisienne’s concept of sexy is more subtle, and I can understand that a lot of men prefer a much obvious sexy.
One thing I realy do not agree with is the prude thing. I don’t believe that parisiennes are prude, they just appear to be. But underneath it’s fire under the ice. And we do BJs. I don’t know where you get that from, Olivier. I don’t know a single parisienne girls who is reluctant to them. In fact, comparing them to Italian women, parisiennes are way more “opened”. You can’t talk sex with Italian women even when you are a girl.
I know a lot of single parisiennes, laughing out loud, having fun and dancing (but with a certain “retenue” and not smiling of course!).
And yeah, we like and do flirt, though, it usually is conversation flirting (and thus it must be witty), and thus, again, more subtle.
I just wanted to add a insight into parisiennes’ world. Olivier if you need help next time to get into parisiennes’ mind, I’ll be glad to help!
But I really do get why guys would prefer foreign girls: something new, with limit date, and much more fun!
Thing that is the most funny is that Milenese girls (I have moved out off Paris to Milano for a year) are very similar to parisiennes, at least in their attitude, because their sexy is very short and much cleavage sexy, but boy, you can’t touch. I don’t know, what is the worst for you guys?
Frogeater… You suddenly turned Zurich into a city I now want to visit. Chapeau bas!!
Marie… Probably indeed. One can only resent the negative/defensive vibe - not many good things come out of negativity!
Capucine… If I were to shut down this blog on a grandiose comment, I think the lines “And we do BJs. I don’t know where you get that from, Olivier. I don’t know a single parisienne girl who is reluctant to them” would be it. I think you made me reach right there the most glorious moment of my blogging career. Thank you for that.
Well, right…probably not the best comment and definitely not the classiest…but there were other things than that…it is a shame it is the thing you’ve picked up out of everything else.
Ok, I love your blog, but you speak perfect English and I just wanted to know… are you French, or are you not? Because if you are actually French than this blog becomes phenomenal… These are all of the things I have realized myself living as a foreigner in Paris, especially the blog about wearing black… but I would love to know that there are French people who see all of this too… so aaaare you French?
Capucine… I was only being cheeky. I genuinely enjoyed your comment. But you know… boys will be boys!
Hannah… Yes, I am! (thanks for your lovely words)
Your blog is really witty ! This is a old post but I’ve only just read it so I had to comment anyway (mieux vaut tard que jamais…). Anyway have you heard of Thomas Hellman? He’s a singer from Montreal, born to a french mother and a texan father (interesting mix, isn’t it?). One of his songs: “Les filles de Montréal” says this about parisian girls:
“C’est vrai qu’il y a les filles de Paris,
C’est vrai qu’elles sont vraiment très jolies,
Mais les filles de Paris vous regardent de si haut,
Vous devenez tout petit tout petit…”
I reckon he’s referring to the same attitude! I thought it was a bit harsh… guess not! (He then proceeds to pay what in my opinion is a rather dubious but entertaining compliment to les filles de Montréal). You’d probably enjoy it!
I think Capucine, by reacting to Olivier’s clearly jokey response so peevishly, in a small way strengthens his argument (nuances of language and humour notwithstanding).
Ivy… Thank you very much. I’ll look that song up! Rather dubious but entertaining sounds like something I would enjoy.
Arch Stanton… Don’t you be bashing a BJ giving Parisian woman. Capucine might reinforce my argument but she’s a gem!
best i’ve read about french women is in:
French or Foe?: Getting the Most Out of Visiting, Living and Working in France
by Polly Platt
I think she’d agree with you on some points.
Hilarious, but true. I find this to be true not just in Paris, but a number of European cities. I am not sure who it speaks to more, foreign women or “native” men.
[...] mother sent me a lien to a blog post that made me éclater de [...]
I have lots of french (male) friends and they all tell me they prefer foreign girls, yet they date these extremely possessive, bitchy and snob parisian girls. And they put up with it, for some reason!! I’d like to understand that…
Granted, parisian girls and so put together and stylish, most of us foreign girls who try to pull off that look can’t manage to look as cool as them.
Maybe there’s a reason I have a ton of french male friends and only a handful of girlfriends…
Vinny… Haven’t read it. Problem with many of these books written by foreigners about France or the French is that these people necessarily have a superficial knowledge of the country or its people. Doesn’t mean what they say is not fun or interesting, simply means that it mostly corresponds to their experience - which being by essence somewhat limited - leads them to draw quick conclusions of phenomena they can’t grasp fully, especially if they live in a village of Provence or in St Germain des Pres.
Paris fan… I’d say native men! Most Parisian women see themselves as fun and playful enough.
Larissa… Parisian men enjoy a form of misery.
guys !! well… must say i had as much fun reading the article as all the comments below ! Parisiennes can really unleash passions :o)
I am French and have lived abroad all my life until 3 years ago when i came to work in Paris… and got it is hard being considered a slut ! but I think the Parisienne attitude is a city thing : you do get the same feeling when you go to Madrid (the madrileñas are way worse than the Parisians), and also in Italy, as mentionned by many girls here !
I think it is just a vicious circle : in Paris you will find the best looking boys (i have made my own benchmark !), who are indecisive as there is so much choice of beautiful women in Paris, hence, don’t know how to act with the girls and end up splitting up and seeming unreachable whilst they are just being immature and unable to choose between compromising themselves with a girl or staying single all their lives (which is against their christian education)…
So : girls will try to behave as unreachable as possible, so that the men need to slave away to get them, and once they have struggled so much to finally get a result, THEY WILL STAY !
but of course, this makes french girls boring and unable to let themselves go. but as said also previously, it is only the girls from the upper-middle class who are like that.
from my own point of view : i have stopped dating french guys as they are unbelievably complicated too !
Tangerine… You might be right… the Parisien might stay. But usually for the wrong reasons. All this makes the love market in Paris quite similar to the job market in France (this might be the ugliest sentence ever written).
Hi Olivier, I just came across your blog a few days ago and absolutely love it. Everything I’ve read so far is right on the money, the allure of foreign women included.
I’m originally from a small town in SoCal but have been living in Paris since 2001 and have had plenty of opportunities to observe the very clear differences between les Parisiennes and les étrangères. Especially Canadian/American ones, hee hee. Bravo on your wonderful blog - keep it up!