O Chateau Blog | Stuff Parisians Like. A blog by Olivier Magny

Parisians are superior to people.

They are also to law.

All Parisians break the law on a daily basis. Two reasons are usually brought to the table to justify it: the law is stupid. And the law is a pain.

Fair enough.

The Parisian is a firm believer that when it comes to the law, what matters is that most stand by it. Conveniently, the Parisian is seldom part of ‘most’. Which allows him to conveniently pick the rules he wants to follow.

One of the rules that really annoys the Parisian is the drinking and driving rule. Therefore, he rarely stands by it. It is ok for the Parisian to drive drunk. Simply because when it comes to driving, the Parisian is never drunk. He’s always fine. « Non ça va, j’peux conduire, aucun problème… Non, vraiment, c’est bon ! ».

Excuses for driving drunk in Paris are plenty and all excellent ones: cabs are expensive, impossible to find at night, metro stops running early most nights, noctambus (night bus) is sketchy and walking is tiring…

The Parisian should drive drunk. It is common Parisian knowledge that driving drunk in Paris is not dangerous. Paris is filled with red lights at every street corner. And speed limit is low. There is no risk.

Once this knowledge is acquired, it becomes obvious that the drinking and driving rule meets the two criteria that justify not to respect it: that rule is indeed stupid and a pain.

Some Parisians are not bold enough to drive their car or their scooter back home after a night out. They are the wise ones. Therefore, they opt for riding a bicycle. Either theirs or - even more conveniently - a velib. At least, when the Parisian rides a bicycle drunk, he’s not driving a car. Parisians are smart.

Urban legends about this ‘friend of friends’ getting their driver’s licence taken away from them for riding a bicycle drunk abound.

Parisians do not really believe in urban legends.

Useful tip: Before driving drunk, have a mint.
Sound like a Parisian: « J’suis nickel, sérieux… ».

Tags:   alcohol · cars · drinking · driving8 Comments